There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Sorry about my life...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
