all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
