So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize