1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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