Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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