Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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