Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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