Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
