She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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