This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize