community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
