absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
