She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize