My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
