Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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