K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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