he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
