I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
