Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i think i have two assholes
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
