All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
