He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
did i just pee glitter
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
