It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
