We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
