people are starting to question the shark bite story
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
