youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
