I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
