going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
