Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
