and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
