I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize