people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
