she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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