Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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