wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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