He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
