Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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