He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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