Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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