on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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