i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize