he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
