The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
