Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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