Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
