apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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