you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
