Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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