i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
