there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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