So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
