I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
