just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
