She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
