We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
