So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
