The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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