Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
