Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
