i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
