We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize