we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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