I wish I could teleport
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
