I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Edward fifth and chaser hands
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
