I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
