tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
