I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
