break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
